more than 1 tip is just too much….

You’re at a restaurant;  You’re at the Doctor’s office;  You’re at the DMV;  You’re at the Ballet…. (you are… not me); You’re on the train late at night going home from work and the old fogey sitting in front of you gets a phone call on her “dumb phone“.

You hear that squealing, monotone, stock ringtone, kinda muffled at first: “da da da da da…. da da da data datahhh……da da da da da…. da da da data datahhh“.  The woman looks around for a couple of seconds and then gets this look of shock on her face like ‘Oh that’s my phone‘ and pulls it outta her pocket.  Now you hear the screeching, annoying ringtone at full blast:  “DA DA DA DA DA…. DA DA DA DATA DATAHHH……DA DA DA DA DA…. DA DA DA DATA DATAHHH”.

She looks at the phone, straining to see the caller ID, realizes she cant see shit, fumbles around for her glasses (which are on her head), then finally reads the caller ID and decides she doesnt wanna answer it. ‘Ehhh I’ll let it go to voicemail’.  

…… And the phone still screams:  “DA DA DA DA DA…. DA DA DA DATA DATAHHH……DA DA DA DA DA…. DA DA DA DATA DATAHHH”.  At this point it doesnt really matter because you have already slit your wrists and you’re bleeding out on the back of the train.

Dear Old People……  On the side of your dumb phones are a bunch of buttons. Some are shortcut keys to your camera, some are volume controls.  They also double as  a RING TONE SILENCER!!!!!  By silencing the ringtone, you dont end up murdering the people around you and you can still decide whether or not to answer at your own turtley pace.  It does nothing to your phone call, except mute the ringer.

*(if you’re phone has no external buttons this will not work without opening the phone and choosing a different button, but I dont think phones without side buttons are even made any more.  And if you have one of those phones, you can 100% upgrade to a newer dumb phone for free from your carrier…) 

**(And I’m talking about real cell phones… not Cell Phones for Old Retarded people who just want a phone that says “Maurice” and “Doctor”. For real.  See it here)

And here’s a bit of history for you old people:  On August 25th 1910 – Yellow Cab was founded.

~ Live. Love. Old.