Archive for the ‘ Go eff yourself Otod ’ Category

Does anybody else hate Thanksgiving?

I dunno if I really hate it.  I think it’s more of the forceful need to get people together and have a redicufuck dinner, with food that aint even that great.

Image Courtesy of Julie Musil

Turkey? Fuckin blows!  Duck on the other hand….. It’s not that I dont like hanging out with friends and family, it’s just that it’s a very specific day. “What are you doing for thanksgiving?”  It’s annoying.  I have to be somewhere, and this so called big dinner wont happen for another year.

And I hate all the fuckin questions:  “So, you have a girl in your life?”   “How’s work, you enjoying?”  “Oh, you’re still living there?”   “What do you mean you didnt get that new car yet?”

I bet vegetarians and vegans hate thanksgiving too.

And parades fuck up the traffic and close the roads even the day before.  Parades are slow and long, and the stuff that is paraded is kind of weird.  But sure, why not march Mr. Potato Head home to Thanksgiving dinner and then gobble up mashed potatoes?

I bet most women hate thanksgiving too. Its Sexist!  Women work for hours on Thanksgiving cooking and cleaning for The Dinner. They set the table, pour the drinks, make the food, serve the guests, clear the table, and wash the dishes.  All the while, the men sit around and watch football.  It’s like we revert into families straight out of 1950’s Pleasantville.

And all the stores and pharmacies close early.  Dinner is over and you’re bored.  Why not go to Target and browse the upcoming Black Friday deals? Or maybe head to the mall and pick up some new shirts.  Oh wait, you can’t!  It’s Thanksgiving and  nearly every business is closed.

And black friday? Shit! It’s not just the disgusting and rampant capitalism, it’s how people act like complete savages. What kind of world do we live in where it’s okay for us to step over a dying store employee to get into a Wal Mart? Remember when that happened a few years ago? How is this okay in anyone’s book? How is it even an argument that you shouldn’t have to leave the store or take responsibility in any way because you’ve been waiting in line for a few hours?  What is it about a few good deals that turn people into animals?

Anyway….. Happy Thanksgiving, Assholes!


And now for your Spanish Otod Word of the Day…. “SpOtod

Turkey Turquía or el pavo }

Use it in a sentence: Abso~TurkeySucksCrap~lutely…….

I will beat you over the head with a turkey

Yo le golpearon en la cabeza con el pavo




And now, for your Spanish Otod Word of the Day…. “SpOtod

{ speechless = mudo }

Use it in a sentence: Abso~Um~lutely…….

Um….. I’m speechless

Um ….. No tengo palabras

Taking Sunday Off….

I began this post with a decision that I will not post an Otod today.  If I want to take a day off, I would just not post anything.  I mean, which one of you…. and I’m talking to both of my readers…. is gonna complain?

So….. eff you. Both of you!


And now, for your Spanish Otod Word of the Day…. “SpOtod

{ sheep = oveja }


“For the second time in a week, an area woman has been duped into buying a fake Apple computer, this one made of paper wrapped with duct tape.  Spartanburg Public Safety officers say the most recent case happened Wednesday.  According to reports, the victim and her friend were approached by an African-American man at a gas station on W.O. Ezell Boulevard on Wednesday.  The victim told officers that the man stated that he had laptop computers, iPads, and iPods in FedEx boxes, and he had received the items at a discounted price.

She says that the man followed her and her friend to the Suntrust Bank on John B. White Boulevard where she withdraw cash from  the ATM and paid him for the laptop computer.

Investigators say when the woman got home she opened the box and found it contained a white power cord and a stack of paper wrapped in what appears to be black duct tape.

Investigators describe the man as approximately 5’11”, weighing 130-140 pounds.  They say he had a grill in his mouth that had four gold teeth. They believe that he’s traveling with another man in a white four door vehicle.

The incident comes just two days after another case, involving the Spartaburg Sheriff’s Office.  In that case, a Spartanburg woman told deputies she was approached by two men in the McDonald’s parking lot.  The 22-year-old woman told authorities the men first told her they were selling the iPads they bought in bulk for $300, but agreed to sell her one for $180 when she said that was all the money she had.

Authorities say the men gave her a closed FedEx box, and took off.  When the victim opened the box, she discovered the “computer” was a block of wood painted black with an Apple logo pasted to it.”

Do we really need to Otod this? Ok, I’ll do it for you!  Dont be a frakkin dumbass!  Or a fool and her money are soon parted?


Watch the video here

How to Stop or Continue Cursing…. Your Choice {NSFW}

Fuck…… you yelled in front of your in-laws.  Shit… you exclaimed in front of your neighbours kid.  Ball Licker… you sa…you get the point.

Are you cursing or swearing too much, and often in the wrong place? Hi…. I’m Otod Nate, and I’m not just a client of FuckShitBallLicker.LLC, I’m also the president.  You’ll find celebrities among many of our clients.  Gel Mibson, Jay & Silent Bob… etc.

So as you can see, I may have a problem with too much cursing. A few sites  A fuck load of sites in one google search will offer tips on how to stop cursing.  e-how has an article on How To Stop Cursing.  Bleep organization has an article here too. Hypnosis Downloads uses hypnosis to get you to stop cursing like a drunk sailor. And a few searches on Yahoo Answers can give you advice from regular everyday people.

But what if….. say you wanna….. hows abouts you like dropping the F-bomb, and you want to do it better? Shit yeah! Fuckin Otod’s here to help, you Ball Lickers!

And it’s healthy too! That’s right, I said Healthy!

Consumer Reports Health has an article called Cursing can Reduce Pain Perception.  “Cathartic swearing may occur in painful situations, for example giving birth or hitting one’s thumb with a hammer. Swearing is also one symptom of the disinhibition in frontal lobe syndrome. For example, the famous frontal lobe patient Phineas P. Gage is said to have become ‘fitful, irreverent, indulging at times in the grossest profanity.”

Scientific American: Why do we swear? For pain relief. “Bad language could be good for you, a new study shows. For the first time, psychologists have found that swearing may serve an important function in relieving pain.”

Health on has an article that shows how swearing helps you get through the recession.  “There are a lot of elements that are out of our control right now and as a result, there’s a lot more frustration, a lot more fear and anxiety,” she says. “When people feel that, many cuss. Swearing is something that gives us an instantaneous release.”

Here’s a Time article showing How Swearing Reduces Pain.

– So what I’m saying is, go on. Curse out your neighbours screaming little fuck ball of a kid.  Yell out every obscenity you can think of when you have to pay taxes.  Go curse an old woman with her shitty hip crossing the street to slow…. then help her cross it, but call her an old Bitch at the same time….

And happy Fuckin’ birthday to Rick Springfield,  born in Australia in 1949…… that old sack of shit!

Live. Love. Curse.

Diarrhea is not funny in Movies

So your at the movie theatre with your friends, and you’re watching some romantic comedy, and the main character (we’ll call him Tom) goes back to his dates apartment to…get it on.  But instead, he has to rush to the bathroom with a major case of the squirts. Echoing each fart through though the porcelain chair and rumbling throughout the apartment, Tom sits there pushing and sweating, and freaking out, while the whole theatre, including your friends, are cracking up.

But you sit there alone, not laughing, and secretly dying inside because you have IBS, and go through these symptoms on a daily basis. It’s not funny.  What if  Tom were to go back to his dates apartment, asked to use the bathroom due to a bad case of Cancer, injected himself with chemo, and had his hair fall out in his hands. Would you laugh?

Otod: I’m not saying that comedy isnt funny, and we need to laugh at some things in life, but Listen up Studios! We’ve seen enough of this. Pick on someone else from now on.  Explosive Diarrhea is not funny in Movies! I may not have my whole colon, but I do have all my feelings…. Assholes.

Molotov Cocktail…. To self ignite or not?

What is a Molotov Cocktail? It’s not something you drink…. It’s something you throw;

A crude yet rather effective firebomb consisting of a bottle containing flammable materials (i.e kerosene, gasoline, oil, or other flammable things) with an ignited rag at the top. Somewhat easy to make, and used sometimes by rioters, rebels, and folks who just plain want to burn things.

But wait…. there’s more!!!!

Sometimes, if available, self-inflammatory materials (such as white phosphorus), could also be used to guarantee the bottle’s explosion as it hits the target surface. This is a self igniting (initiating) molotov cocktail.  (not to be tried at home, or by minors, or pyro’s, or psycho’s, or economics teachers, or teen moms, or dancing with the stars runner ups…..)

Otod does not take responsibility for what you do with this info. This information has not been proven or tried for fear of injuring Otod’s self.  This info was gathered from google searches.   In the wise words of someone wise…. “Dont be Stoopit”! 

All you have to do is smash it and it will burst into flames.
“First off fill a jar or bottle with gasoline/petrol or some home made napalm ,carefully wipe off any excess from the outside of the bottle or jar.
Next, fold up some pool chlorine into some paper (or even some rag) and wrap it around the bottle , taping it firmly in place.
Now all you have to do is smash the bottle and when the petrol mixes with the chlorine….up she goes.”

Here’s another link with some more detailed directions.

~ Hot for Teacher….. out

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