Archive for the ‘ Helpful Otod ’ Category

2011 NYC Gridlock Alert Days….Starts Today!

Today is the first of nine holiday season gridlock alert days in New York City.  Holiday visitors and shoppers are expected to add to the usual traffic crush in the city, so officials urge the public to use mass transit rather than drive in.

These days are known as Gridlock Alert Days and the following dates are on the 2011 calendar:

  • Friday, November 18th, 2011 (Breaking Dawn Opens Today)
  • Wednesday, November 23rd, 2011 (Day before Thanksgiving)
  • Wednesday, November 30th, 2011 (Rockefeller Center Tree Lighting….. really?)
  • Friday, December 2nd, 2011  (AKA The Day before Saturday….in December)
  • Friday, December 9th, 2011  (C’mon…..It’s too easy)
  • Wednesday, December 14th, 2011 (Huh?)
  • Thursday, December 15th, 2011  (Huwahhhhh?)
  • Friday, December 16th, 2011 (Hermaphrodite?)
  • Wednesday, December 21st, 2011 (Humbug?)

Happy Barry?


Cops and Tickets on Vacation

I’m gonna try and keep it simple.  Just because you are on vacation, it doesnt mean you are above the law.  Wherever it is that you are visiting is most probably a real town with real laws that apply to everyone.

Did you rent a car?  Did you get a speeding ticket? Do you live 5 states away? You still need to pay it.  The ticket follows the driver, not the vehicle.  Get a parking ticket?  The rental agency has your license info, and it will be on your record.  Speed limit signs in  vacation spots are not suggestions.

Police are more likely to ticket drivers who come from some distance away or out of state than those who are neighbors. It makes sense on so many levels – the fact that it doesn’t happen to be fair doesn’t come into it. They’re also more likely to ticket men driving fire red sports cars than women in gray Volvos.  And with enough violations, you can lose your license.  It is easier to fight extradition to stay out of another state’s court for a serious crime than it is to avoid paying another state’s fines when it comes time to getting your own license renewed.  In fact, a few weeks ago I was driving through NYC, and there were cops blocking the street I was driving on, and they motioned me to the side, and asked for my license and registration.  I asked what it was about, and they said they’re just doing random checks.  I was good to go, but the guy in front of me…. He was driving with a suspended license, and they cuffed him, arrested him, and impounded his car…..

So remember….. Cops are assholes  Be respectful and aware of the law, even if you’re on vacation. It’s in your best interest.



And now, for your Spanish Otod Word of the Day…. “SpOtod

police policía }

Use it in a sentence: Abso~PigsAreOurFriendsNotFood~lutely……

Help….. police!

Ayuda ….. policía!

Urinal Splashback….

When a guy pees straight on at a urinal there will be consequences. You will get splashback.  Some urinals have a built in splashback protection, but they rarely work.  I have figured out what works best for me.  Its hitting the side wall first and letting the stream curve around also known as the Ricochet.

This posting is a shout out to a friend who doesn’t pee at urinals out of fear of splashback.  He uses a regular toilet.

Also check out Run Pee. Because movie theatres dont have Pause Buttons.


Women like to joke about guys having bad aim in the bathroom.  And that’s somewhat accurate.  Go to nearly any public men’s room and you’ll see piss on the floor below the urinals. And guys clearly have an issue pointing their urine stream accurately in regular toilets too. However, I’m not 100% certain that guys can’t aim – I’m thinking maybe they’re just aiming for the wrong target. The way I see it, there are 4 standard options:

Direct Hit

Guys who go for the Direct Hit are not modest. They don’t care about the obvious noise aiming directly for the water creates. This is not a good style for a dude with a weak stream. Everyone can tell he’s dripping out like a coffee pot. A braggart who shoots piss with the force of a firehose might choose this method just to let you know he’s hung like a Pepsi can. And guys who use this technique don’t seem to mind the potential splash-back. Who cares about a couple dozen drops of piss-water on your thighs? No one’s going to notice anyway, right?

Center Wall

I’m assuming this is the standard operating procedure urinal engineers had in mind when designing their product. People in Japan seem to agree. Pissing toward the back wall of the urinal appears to divert the stream pretty efficiently toward the small pool of water. Though there’s still a slight danger of splash-back. And in this case, it’s pure piss bouncing off the back wall of the urinal – not a piss/water mix.  And anything that splashes back could also be a mixture of many previous pissers’ stream.

Shooting Short

This is the preferred method for dudes with a weak stream. Prostate issues? You’re probably dripping down toward the front of the urinal. Otherwise, I don’t know why a guy would point his stream so close to his jeans. Too risky.


If a guy thinks he’s clever, he might try to aim for the right or left wall of the urinal, (I’m clever), sending the pee flow spinning around the back wall. This method could reduce the piss mist. Still, there’s a danger you might miss your target and hit the corner of the urinal, sending warm yellow fluid all over the place. This is the preferred technique for creative types who are shy about the sound of their own urine hitting toilet water.

Even eHow has a tip on how to use handicap urinals.

And there you have it.


And now for your Spanish Otod Word of the Day…. “SpOtod“ ——- {{{{ small = pequeña }}}}

Use it in a sentence? AbsoFungusCreamlutely…….

I have a small bladderTengo una vejiga pequeña or (tengo una pequeña vesícula)

How Long can you Store Unused Gasoline?

In the post days of Hurricane Irene, people are again looking into buying generators for their homes. But what if you buy some gas in a gas can for the generator and you don’t end up using it? 

Gasoline cannot be stored for more than a month or so unless you use a fuel stabilizing chemical, and even then, the shelf-life is relatively short. You need to rotate your inventory on a regular basis to avoid problems.

The WSJ gives you a straight answer on just this issue. But The Straight Dope gives an even better answer and advice.

Here’s a Otod. If after a month you dont end up using the gas you have already purchased, put it into your car. Then when the next Disaster occurs, you can just refill your gas can. Why let 10 or 15 gallons of gas go to waste?

Click the more link for a whole detailed write up.

~ Live. Love. Fuel.

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Hurricane Irene is coming, & that Bitch aint bringing Cookies!

Unless you live in a cave, you already know about Hurricane Irene. She’s comin’  ’round that mountain….. However, if you do live in a cave you are probably very well protected from those 100 mph winds.

Irene will be a serious and multi-hazard threat for the major metropolitan areas of the Mid-Atlantic and Northeast. This includes Norfolk, Washington, D.C., Baltimore, Philadelphia, New York City, Hartford, and Boston. This hurricane has the potential to produce flooding rains, high winds, downed trees (on houses, cars, power lines) and widespread power outages. Significant impacts along the immediate coast include high waves, surge and beach erosion.”

Click here for tips on how to prepare for a hurricane from the National Hurricane Center.

Here are some quick obvious necessities to have prepared for a Hurricane:

Water…. Lots of it
Flashlights & extra Batteries
Toiletries & sanitizing wipes
Full tank of gas
Small tools
Non perishable food
Battery operated Radio
Extra cell phone batteries  (Solar or hand winding charger)

These items should be prepared in a small, durable bag that’s easy to carry or in a backpack. They should be prepared for all year readiness, and it’s location should be known by everyone in the home.

Now the fun part…..

Hurricane Parties!!!!!!  Call your friends!  Mandatory evacuation? Hah! Make some mojitos, turn on the Scorpions, and Rock out to the Hurricane, till that Blackout comes!  And if there’s a Wind of Change? Keep that party goin All Night Long with your Animal Magnetism till you just Cant Get Enough of this Crazy World!


~ Live. Love. Swim….


Learn to play an instrument correctly

I come for a musical family, so growing up, I was interested in playing an instrument.  I took lessons on; Accordian, Piano, Drums, Trumpet, and Guitar. And to this day, I can play a few chords on the piano and guitar and play a beat or 2 on the drums. Basically, my ADHD and laziness got the better of me.

First Otod…. Pick 1 instrument, and stick with it.

So the reason for today’s Otod was because of what happened the other day at a friends house. He just got his kid a new drum set, and I told him that I used to play a little. So he said “try it out! have fun!” I told him thanks, but its too much of a pain in the ass, cause I play lefty.  You see, my drum teacher asked me if I was lefty or righty, and since I was a lefty, he had me switch around the Snare, Hi-hat, and symbols to learn that way. That means that I cant just sit at any drum set and start playing. I would need to switch everything around.  Which in my young mind was really stupid, cause all four limbs get used the same amount with drum playing…..right?

Years later, when I took guitar lessons, my guitar teacher told me to learn righty (the regular way), or the only guitar I will ever be able to play would be my own. How right he was!!!! That man was a genius! Or was he…..?

Second Otod….. Learn to play the instrument the way you feel comfortable doing it. And in today’s age of research and answers available to you from around the world in milliseconds, do some research on the matter. is a website dedicated to lefty guitarists in a right handed world, and they give some pretty damn good info on this exact subject. Check ’em out here. is another great site that helps parents in guiding their retar….I mean left handed kids through a right handed world.

P.S. I write and throw with my left hand. The only thing I cant do is snap. I can snap with my right hand, just not my left. I also us a computer mouse with my right hand, which is very important, because if you learn to use a mouse lefty, you will have trouble at other peoples computers.

~ Wishing I was ambidextrous…. – Otod Nate

Be My Designated Driver!

BeMyDD is a new twist on a transportation service, and as their slogan says, “We Drive Your Car, So You Don’t Have To.” The business concept was created to offer the elite services of a chauffeur at a discounted rate, by utilizing our customer’s automobiles. We are a better solution than taxis, limousines, and chauffeurs. 

BeMyDD offers two designated driver services.  The catch is it all happens in your own car.  The service can either pick you up from your home, or pick you
and your vehicle up, where ever you are.

Conroy Parchment, with BeMyDD, says, “I think its a great opportunity for people to get involved to use a service like be my DD if they do live outside of the area and going home is not just a walk home.”

BeMyDD even has a mobile app to reserve drivers.

To learn more about it, check out

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